I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
