i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
