I need to stop coming to work sober
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
