I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
