Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A bitchslap is in order.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize