I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
