There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In other news, I just burned my penis
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
