She is in my trunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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