If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
