woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no. you can't hotbox the world.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize