forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
