batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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