You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I understand Curling. That high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
