Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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