everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
