So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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