At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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