You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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