Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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