I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
