One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
