Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
