i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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