I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
