I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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