She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
