I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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