At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
