Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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