Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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