no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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