i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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