I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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