So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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