I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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