OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
