How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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