You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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