STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
