Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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