if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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