You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
