I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
