I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize