my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
