i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
