I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
