Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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