I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
