Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize