You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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