She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize