I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
