Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
