Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
