If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
