dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thus making me awesome and them whores
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Randomize
