what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
