I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
