i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize