Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You have to summon your inner elephant
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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