just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
