Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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