no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
