Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
