Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
