Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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