You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
