let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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