I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
