he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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