He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize