This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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